Paradoxical Perfection: The Quintessential Mentor/Guru!

Paradoxical Perfection: The Quintessential Mentor/Guru!

The subject of this post, in a way could be said to be a prelude to my upcoming Book (Yet to be Titled) on a very serious and exhaustive topic of how an individual slowly but steadily; tends to lose his own identity from the day of his / her birth to their moving on the realms beyond life!

From the day a life comes to birth encompassing the life cycle of all humans, they are subject to a particular protocol / routine enforced and imbibed into them to be followed as an almost blessed routine, that will make them the person the world wants and not what he is destined to be! I will not open up the suspense of my new publication now but what I want to share with you a very important part of that book, which in itself will later be published as another book. So exhaustive is this topic that I have decided to herewith only give you a precursor summary of what I would like to express.

Let us come to the core topic of the subject of this Blog Post.

Our entire life is a process of learning, imbibing, and moulding ourselves into a person who we want to be or do something that we dream to do as we grow up. All along this process we are all in need of a “Guru” or “Mentor” as we would call them. They could be our Parents, Relatives, Elders, Senior Peers, or any person belonging to the same societal group especially based on age, grade, or status or experience!

I can understand that during our very early childhood they are all a source of knowledge for the child as they have no other alternative that to follow the teachings given by these “Guru” or “Mentors” as I have aforesaid mentioned. But as we grow the concept of the “Quintessential Guru / Mentor” comes into play very strongly. Consciously or unconsciously the idea of a "misplaced quintessential guru" often arises when people idealize the concept of a guru and project their own expectations onto a teacher, rather than engaging with the process of self-discovery and personal growth.

By the time we progress along the life cycle of a human which include various stages: birth, infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age. Each stage involves unique physiological and psychological changes. It reflects the continuous process of growth, development, and aging experienced by individuals.

So the importance of a Quintessential Guru / Mentor all the more magnifies. Now let us go back to understanding the generic meaning of “Quintessential” applicable in different situations. 

“Quintessential” means embodying or possessing the essence of something, representing the most perfect or most typical example of something, perfectly typical or representative of a particular kind of person or thing. 

Quintessential Mentor / Guru:

This refers to the ideal or archetypal teacher, one who embodies the qualities of wisdom, guidance, and spiritual insight. In many traditions, the guru is seen as a guide who helps individuals overcome ignorance and achieve enlightenment.

We look forward to a “Guru” or “Mentor” to receive their guidance, inspiration and blessings to solve one’s problem’s and achieve growth; both spiritual / materialistic.

Rightly quoted: “A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you; than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” — Bob Proctor.

You cannot teach a man anything or everything. You can only help him discover it within himself. A true mentor or guru does just that!

A mentor is not someone who walks ahead of you; to show you how they did it. A mentor walks alongside you to show you what you can do.

So it clearly implies that a “Guru” or a “Mentor” is an inspiration for your knowledge empowerment, in every possible way!

Sadly not everyone is lucky to get this Ideal “Guru” or a “Mentor” in their lives, so it is imperative that every person has to take a call on whom they should treat as their guiding force as we move along in our life. We will also have to be able to make a decision on what should be listened to, imbibed and inculcated to make a good and successful person and life out of our being!

Let us now delve into the bitter part of this balance between the Ideal and the misplaced. 

It is like having to choose our priorities right. I would like to give due credit to Dr. Benjamin Hardy when he so rightly quotes in one of his articles on a similar issue.

There comes a time when you have to GIVE A DIRECTION TO YOUR LIFE!

• Decide what you want.

• Train yourself to want it enough to have it.

• Transform your identity, brain, and environment to ensure you get it.

• Become laser-focused and stop getting distracted by what you don’t want.

The above bulleted key and core points can be further explained as follows.

Decide what you want: There are again two perspectives to this annotation. You have to first decide what your priorities are; and what you desire in life. Secondly you have to decide whom to and how much to follow your Ideal Guru or Mentor of partaking his advices and guidance. You need to draw the line.

Train yourself to want it enough to have it: Any want is connected with an underlying more intense desire of how much you want what you desire. There has to be a passion and greed to acquire it which gives you the direction and impetus to get what you want and not waste your energies and intelligence on something that either does not suit your character or is totally unnecessary. We often tend to follow the trends without analyzing whether it suits your needs or not. Be wise in making those choices. Learn to say NO when it is needed.

Transform your identity, brain, and environment to ensure you get it: Remember that each one of us is born with a specific Identity and persona. Learn and train yourself to identify yourself from the crowd for who you are and what you are made for. You have to sharpen your brain and your intellectual capabilities and skills to define those finer nuances between what is needed for you and what is not. You need to stand out as a distinct individual who is so very becoming of you! Follow your instincts and plans thereafter and judge the environment around you. Wherever needed bring about a subtle or strong change in that environment to ensure you get what you need, and is so aptly suitable to your own persona. As much as is needed to be a part of an environment to learn and empower yourself in every aspect whatsoever; it is equally important to stay away or even break away if need be from that very same environment.

All the above is easier said than done so that is where the last but not least of your routine / protocol comes in.

Become laser-focused and stop getting distracted by what you don’t want: We have so many examples of a laser-focused approach to any event in our life. I would like to list out a few of life’s examples as they will help you in deriving that same intensity of focus.

• In the epic Mahabharata, Arjuna's skill as an archer is famously demonstrated in a test set by his teacher, Dronacharya. Dronacharya placed a wooden bird on a branch and asked each of his students what they could see before shooting. Most students described seeing the bird, the tree, and other surrounding elements. However, when it was Arjuna's turn, he declared that he could only see the bird's eye. This unwavering focus on his target, the bird's eye, impressed Dronacharya, who then allowed Arjuna to shoot. Arjuna's arrow pierced the bird's eye, showcasing his exceptional focus and archery skills.

• In the Mahabharata again, King Drupada held a Swayamvara (a ceremony where a princess chooses her husband) for his daughter, Draupadi. A golden fish was suspended from the ceiling, and a revolving target was placed above a pot of oil.

• Arjuna's archery skill was famously demonstrated and proved earlier too. Arjuna, renowned for his archery skills, approached the task with unwavering focus. He looked only at the reflection of the fish's eye in the oil, blocking out all other distractions. During Draupadi's Swayamvara he hits the eye of a revolving golden fish which was reflected in a pot of oil, and only Arjuna, with his unwavering focus, was able to hit the target.

• Similar is with any Shooting event such as the Long Range Rifle or Pistol shooting events. The Bulls eye is your aim. I will not elaborate too much but suffice to say the four fundamentals of marksmanship; include steady position, aiming, breath control, and trigger squeeze. Steady position relates to selecting a stance, position, and grip that creates a stable firing platform and follows through. These techniques provide the foundation for all marksmanship principles and skills.

I am sure the above examples will amply explain the importance of becoming laser-focused and stop getting distracted by what you don’t want: In all the above examples is was clear that the key was to not get distracted from any external elements.

I will now delve upon the paradoxical part of the experience – that of the "misplaced quintessential mentor / guru" which unfortunately if you do connect with, and how to avoid getting entrapped in this negative realm.

The term "misplaced quintessential guru" suggests a situation where the ideal or most important teacher is not in the right place or is being sought in the wrong context. It implies a misunderstanding or misapplication of the concept of a guru, often leading to a sense of disillusionment or confusion. The "misplaced" part highlights the disconnect between the expected role of a guru and the reality of the situation. 

Here's how I look at it and would like you all to look at the connect between two annotations of “Quintessential Mentor / Guru” and “Misplaced” which may seem paradoxical.

Misplaced:

This word indicates that the concept of the guru is being applied inappropriately or in a context where it doesn't fit. This could mean seeking a guru for superficial reasons, in the wrong setting, or from someone who doesn't genuinely possess the qualities of a true guru.

In today’s fast pace and competitive world there is every chance that some people will; for their ulterior motives con people into believing that they possess the qualities and qualifications of a true guru / mentor. There are a few who are genuinely good at what they do, but the slip comes when they feel “They are the Know-all and Be-All” of all the knowledge in the world. They may be masters of their own trades and skill but they keep forgetting what I had mentioned earlier “A mentor is not someone who walks ahead of you; to show you how they did it. A mentor walks alongside you to show you what you can do. 

There are also the ones who may build up a very flashy profile, offer webinars, training and guiding courses and even call themselves “Life Coaches”. I do not in any way mean any disrespect to the truly genuine ones but better safe than sorry when it comes to dealing with your own life. Check out for all credentials before getting involved with such professionals. It’s sad that even amongst our own families and friends we could find such unprofessional and deceitful “Gurus / Mentors”. 

But most of the times we will find that it is not them who are at fault, but we ourselves have to take a call and not fall into a deceptive trap by following any or all of the steps as enlisted below, given as examples only.

• Seeking a guru for material gain or social status rather than academic and / or spiritual growth. 

• Overlooking the traits and still following a teacher who exhibits narcissistic or manipulative behavior. 

• Believing that a guru can solve all one's problems without personal effort. (You cannot change your persona / career / life by just chanting a few mantras or sprinkling holy ash on your body as some may seem to believe). 

• Treating a guru as a celebrity or idol rather than a guide. Respect for your Guru / Mentor is of paramount importance but blindly overdoing this and becoming a “Yes-Man” without actually checking or tracking your own change as a person and in your growth.

The idea of a "misplaced quintessential guru" often arises when people idealize the concept of a guru and project their own expectations onto a teacher, rather than engaging with the process of self-discovery and personal growth.

I have in the frank expressions of my thoughts and opinions listed out the “Pros and Cons” so to say of having a mentoring in your life. It is for you discerned and valued readers to evaluate each point apply it to your life, check if and where you may have gone wrong and bring about a change to get the best out of your life.

I am sure that you will make the right decision and take a call that will make you a better person. Wishing you all the best in all your endeavors may all your dreams and aspirations come true!

"So be it, Amen"

And as is the inspiring quote that motivates me always “Reach for the moon. Even if you miss, grab a star”.