Remembering My Mother - Compassion Personified

 Remembering My Mother - Compassion Personified

 

"Aai I miss you, but you will always remain in my heart for ever"

They say "Mother is the Name of God on the lips of her children and their Hearts". Today on this day the 2nd Of March 2021 I am nostalgic and look back on those golden years I spent with my mother. Born on 11th March 1930 she lived on for a very short period if I may say so and passed on to the heavenly abode exactly today 30 years ago on 2nd March 1991 at a ripe young age of 61 only.

But I can proudly say that "I am Truly My Mothers Son"

In saying that the heart of a Mother is like a deep abyss in which you will always find forgiveness is an understatement of what I could describe her. My mother Nirmala Kate or "Nimmu" as she was fondly called and is still remembered was compassion and giving personified. I could go on for ages describing each and every moment in our life, where her only concern was to see others happy. 

I get emotional and choked up when I try to list out each and every day of my life with her and how her only concern was "My Happiness" and even her life did not come her way of giving me everything I needed. Going through hard times of separation and yet staying smiling as ever to be there for you whenever you need her is the biggest sacrifice a Mother can ever do for her children and that is what she did. 

I am and will remain ever indebted to my immediate family in my Uncles, Aunties, their children who for me were like Mother/Father/Brother/Sister through all my life and still are; without whose love and care I would possibly not be what I am today. But at the same time I cannot but hold back from talking about the center of my very life - My Mother. "Aai'" as I used to always address her was an epitome of sacrifice, compassion, forgiveness, love, and soft spoken soul that never new what anger was. I have rarely seen her angry in my whole life. 

She used to teach as well for a short period in my own Alma Mater St.Stanislaus High School, Bandra, and later on at a Private School in Bandra for many years, while also taking Tuition in Marathi, Hindi. Never was there a day when she would show any pain or stress on her face, an ever smiling soul who lived for others. 

Through my 11 years of schooling at my Alma Mater, I still have to remember a day when there was something I wanted and never got it, however small it may have been. Hard times made her do a small Home Made Masala Business in which we would make home made Spice Masalas, Chutneys, and go and sell them door to door to make ends meet. Going to the "Banya's" as we used to call the "Kirana Stores" of today, buying the independent ingredients, duly weighed out in proper proportions, bringing them home, frying them to remove moisture and then hand pounding them in a cast iron pestle and mortar was the hardest task she would do for so many years. 

I too along with our other family members helped in the process, duly packing and then selling them door to door to make whatever we could to add to our meager earnings. She would work tirelessly late into the nights to ensure that the next days orders were ready, and while I insisted I too help her; which I mostly did, she would put me off to sleep so that I can be fresh for school the next day and close the doors of the kitchen and keep pounding away, drenched in sweat until every drop of her energy was drained, but not before finishing her task. 

This was in fact the undoing in her getting sick and weak as the Strong Aroma of the Fried Masala's and led to her catching Breathing problems and Bronchial investment of the powders in her chest , which later lead to her weakness. She also caught Diabetes and together drained her of all her energy. Nothing still stopped her from living her life only to ensure that I stood up on my feet. Still cannot forget each and every day of those hard times. 

My first Job , My first Salary and each and every step in my Career was such a Happy moment for her as if it was her own and she was ever smiling and beaming proudly at her son. Looking back I still feel sad I could not give her what I wanted to give her; especially for someone who gave her full life for my upbringing and growth, she left me just at a time when I myself had started earning and relocated to Pune where I wanted to bring her and settle to enjoy the rest of her life in peace and happiness. 

She would not leave our Mumbai Residence along with her sisters, and my cousins while I was settling down and structuring my career in Pune, saying "You first settle down, then I will come over.". My marriage was a great moment in her life and she was ever so happy, that she was with me at Pune. But that too was short lived. A few months into her happy stay with us at our Pune residence which was a large rented Bungalow of my friend which she loved, her health deteriorated suddenly and on 2nd March 1991 she passed away right there in my arms due to a sudden stroke of Diabetic imbalance in sugar levels. That day will remain ever embedded in my mind for life. Somewhere deep down she had an inclination of the impending call for the heavenly abode which I myself also have the very strong sense of Premonitions, and she indicated it to me even when I my wife and she herself just passed it off to ensure she could only life a happy life. 

Those days still haunt me while also leaving a mark that she died peacefully and with the people she loved most. Yes that deep hurt that I would have loved to have had her for many more years still remains, I am happy she lived a full life. 

Happy moments too to share of her love for reading, and her sojourn as a Library Attendant where she worked for a few months, where she and her smaller sister my Aunt Radhika Shirur used to create a tough time for the Librarian. Both were voracious readers especially for Marathi Books, and Monthly Magazines as they used to be called "Masik's" in those days. The Library had a rule of lending only one book to read for a Week but they would finish reading in one day and quietly pick up the next Book though keeping the Librarian informed, who was amazed at their reading skills. Both of them over the few months that she worked there almost finished off the whole stock of Books in those time, reading each and every word of those books. 

My mother also had a liking for acting and took part in a few local Concerts or "Nataks" as they termed it specially those of Bal Gandharva, and others, a few photographs of which are seen below. 

 

My Aunt and my mother had a few very close friends who they were bonded so closely that when one of them passed away suddenly due to some illness both of them had not eaten for almost 2-3 days and it took a lot of coaxing and warning from our family doctor to make them understand and come to normal. That was the level of Love and compassion that she and my Aunties exhibited for me, too which I am feeling so blessed today. 

My Mother, and both my Aunties and the Uncle who was not only my Guardian Father are no more today but their love and compassion still lives on in me and not a day goes that I can live without reviving their fond memories of those days.

As I said I could go endlessly on this topic and relate each and every day, with amazing examples of her sacrifice and love for me and in ensuring that I get the best, but will conclude here with only saying "Aai I miss you, but you will always remain in my heart for ever".