Life is Like a Coin - Pleasure and Pain are two sides!
Life has always surprised me all through the years of my existence and I have always learned to respect every stage and take it in my stride.
We always try and compare Life to a Coin, but never in the right perspective. Flipping a Coin is a totally different concept where in there is an element of uncertainty which we term as a sort of "Gamble" which in itself is a misnomer. We are intentionally using the two sides of the coin to come to a selection of a choice, knowing very well that each side has a different image on it. The relevance of those images or prints is more academic and symbolic , than emotional.
When we try to compare the Coin with Life, it relates to a totally different perspective. Life is certainly like a coin, where we can only see one side of it at one time. The other side is hidden, and can be seen or becomes visible only when we turnover the coin or flip it. But we cannot flip Life like a coin. Life shows its two faces only when the time comes and we can either get to see the happier side or it or the pain. We never know, very similar to the coin flip if the same side will come to face us or we may get to experience the extreme other side of it.
If you are lucky to get the happier side , there could always be the severity of that happiness, joy, happiness, ecstasy or various other levels of happiness. It could also happen that Life shows you the extreme opposite of it immediately and slip you into an experience of sadness, pain, or totally despair.
We have to learn to face both sides with equanimity, especially in difficult times.
Over this year I had many incidents that made me look at life in a totally different perspective. It actually made me wiser, and stronger, and I would like to share some of those experiences.
We often tend to look at the sadder part and keep crying over it, but never look and both the sides and learn from it. Although major part of my life's experiences had been unsparing for me I started looking it them as a lesson rather than pain thrust on me.
One example of looking at life in the right perspective is so well expressed by this image, that matches my feelings and experiences.
I used to always complain as to why I am at the receiving end of all these experiences? Why were people using me like a doormat, or a stepping stone to achieve their motives. But my integrity and upbringing came to the fore. I was always taught the you are here in this life for a reason and with a mission. The moment you except that that is your mission, but at the same time learn from those experiences, it can change your whole perspective to life.
I started distancing myself from the pain and those people who were trying to misuse me and my kindness, my humility to make their ends meet their goals. I forgave them all, with a view to pardon their ignorance, while never shunning any opportunity to help them if they needed it in spite of their behavior towards me. That gave me peace of mind, and also made me more assertive in my choices in life.
Coming back to the few events that marked this whole period of my life this year, I looked back since the first month of the Year. I had great plans on he bench. Completing and publishing 3 of my books including my Memoirs, Picking up and starting a new chapter and profession in my life of being a Citizen Journalist, and Social Activist, to publishing my new Books in a different form of Flip Books.
All my efforts were going in vain, but I realized that at every stage I was learning something important and new. It was a stage of knowledge empowerment for me, and I accepted it in all humility and happiness.
Although as they say "Better Late than Never", I was able to publish my Memoirs - "Untold - Memoirs of a Different Kind" on 3rd October 2022. I was also able to work on many aspects of my learning and collating information for my becoming a Citizen Journalist which I would be announcing shortly. It involved learning through courses the many legal aspects as well as the very basics of Citizen Journalism, getting connected with the various Newspapers that invite the general public to be a part of their News Articles, and connecting with he various Government and Ministries that linked to this work. The work is still in progress and I will be happy to share it at the earliest.
I then realized and experienced what is called the "Heads, you're mine; Tails, I'm Yours" perspective.
I came to accept and understand that life plays he same with you. All you have to do is accept it at face value.
While the positives came in a bit later for me but ever since the month of October started there was so much positive that had happened. But then life also gave me it's two saddest moments.
12th of October I lost one of my most respected and Loved Mentors, my Ex-Boss and fatherly figure Shri. Sadandand Dattatray Shingne. I have already published a post about this as it was a chapter in my life which cannot be separated from me. It came as a rude shock at a moment when I was just recovering from a spate of happiness and positivity coming my way. But again I took it in my stride, as that is exactly what Mr. Shigne had taught me to do in life and my behaving otherwise would have been a mark of disrespect to that great personality. Very few people have made such a lasting impression on my life and in fact very few people even knew about this as I had kept him very close to my heart.
The second incident came in as a rude shock just yesterday. It triggered so many thought in my mind but I will only express the relevant ones in this Post.
In our Cooperative Society that we stay we have a very devout and learned couple Mrs. and Mr. M Shaikh; (Both well qualified Teachers). They had 2 daughters and a Son staying with them and are resident on the ground floor of our society where I stay on the 1st Floor. For the last over 20 years we have been very close, albeit maybe not so the same with the other society members.
As is normally in many societies or rather that it should be, we were all like a close knit family.Over the years their daughters were both very much attached to us especially me, calling me "Uncle, Uncle" and happily rushing to us to inform of any achievements that they had in their life. The elder daughter had been one of the first few in our area to pass out with Distinction in her 10th and the same was repeated by her younger sister as well. The Elder went on to become a Doctor, now happily married and settled, while the younger daughter was just pursuing her 11th. Her brother also was close on heels.
Many were the happy times we share moments like their Academic achievements, Id, and when they had gone to Haj Pilgrimage and they had brought from their "Holy Water" from Mecca for my daughter. Those were he happy side of he coin.
Long story short, while on one side we a home were preparing for "Laxmi Pujan" which was to be performed in he evening, I was shaken when I noticed a lot of people accumulating below. I immediately went down and got to know that the younger daughter was no more. They had lost her in tragic circumstances. I felt weak in my knees as I went towards their home to get to know that this young sixteen/seventeen year old was no more.
As not many people were informed as it was in the early stages of the occurrence of the tragedy, I rushed to convey the same to all our society members.
Without elaborating much on the other events, suffice to say that I was there with them from that moment onward until the final stages of their Burial of this young soul at their local "Kabristan". The family being very close to me personally was totally shattered and it tool me and my daughter all our resolve to try and console them, we ourselves breaking down inconsolably.
I cannot still forge those last moments when I collected the mud around the grave and poured it on the lowered remains of her departed soul. As happy smiling and joyful soul was no more and in a few hours totally merged with the Universe. It took me the whole day to grasp the intensity of the moment, and as I write this post; I am still weak and shattered by the events that came upon the family and us as well.
We all prayed for the departed soul while I can only say ๐คฒ๐ช เคชूเคฐे เคถेเค เคชเคฐिเคตाเคฐ เคे เคช्เคฐเคคि เคนเคฎाเคฐी เคเคนเคฐी เคธंเคตेเคฆเคจा। เคเคถ्เคตเคฐ เคเคจ्เคนें เคเคธ เค เคชाเคฐ เค्เคทเคคि เคो เคธเคนเคจे เคी เคถเค्เคคि เคช्เคฐเคฆाเคจ เคเคฐें। เคฆिเคตंเคเคค เคเคค्เคฎा เคी เคถांเคคि เคे เคฒिเค เคช्เคฐाเคฐ्เคฅเคจा। เค เคฒ्เคฒाเคน เคเคจ्เคนें เคเคจ्เคจเคค-เคเคฒ-เคซिเคฐเคฆौเคธ เคฆे।๐ช๐คฒ
The reason for my writing this post was very clearly in expressing the feeling that go through a persons mind during the course of our lives. All these events are like chapters of our life where each chapter is teaching you something.
What we have to understand and inculcate is the habit of having a perspective towards life of acceptance, humility and above all gratitude. We cannot be happy and thank life for the good things that we get and either curse or cry over the sadder part of our lives. We have to have the humility and grace to accept it as a part of our lives, and take it in our stride. It is always that we find the brightness at the end of a dark tunnel.
There have been umpteen occasions in my life that have given me immense happiness and joy, while there have also been the saddest and most searing moments in my life when my closest relatives, friends and well wishers have departed from me suddenly. While I pray for all those departed souls, and still hold them close to my heart, I thank life for giving me the lessons in a way only life can!
I kneel Humbled!
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